this is the end
beautiful friend
this is the end
my only friend, the end

it hurts to set you free
but you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
the end of nights we tried to die

this is the end.

<3

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.....ATUS!
As if you couldn't tell.

Temporarily.

While I get my shit(e) back in order.


(occasionally)


<3

teh s uck!

I will update regularly again. Soon.

I've been overwhelmed with life recently, however. Breakup like whoa. Obviously this = emotionally wrecked. Also, I've been sick for a million years... or a week. And I thought I was getting better... annnnnd... nope. It's freezing outside. I might fail every class. Paper due for theory tomorrow that I haven't finished. Sucks!

I'm practically counting the seconds until Spring Break. It will kick off Friday night with a long-overdue Lot reunion, which I'm anticipating with fervor. The week that follows = mommy, ruckus, havoc, driving, getting a jeeeeerb, and lots of ZZZING - f'real!

Alright. Time to leave work and meet Megs and Brittster for some hangout time. And then... paper writing until the end of time. Bleh.

Pee ess: Thank you Roomie, Shizz, Juwa, Guido, Muffincakes, Dr. Love, Captain, and The Heat Miser. For being there. I love you guys <3

My friends' nicknames? Rule.

Oh my god... I think I'm going to be sick...

i'm blank, i'm still, i'm numb from the pain
and i'm fine with the weather
and with us being not together
and i'm tired of faking
'cause i've been faking it for years
and i'm sick of writing this song
about how love always disappears

i know you tried
and i know it's just gonna take some time
for me to stop hearing my voice

telling you goodbye.

I was born a unicorn.

Once again, I blog.
With nothing interesting to say.
I do LiveJournal quite frequently, so check that shit out.

There have been lots of robberies in our building, including Jules' $1200 laptop, out of our common room. Suck. Worst part = We know who did it, and the cops/us lowlife students can't do anything because it's just our word against theirs. Bastards. At least I don't steal shit for my drug money.

Speaking of drug money, I haven't smoked pot since winter break. I don't feel any smarter. I have concluded that this is either because I permanently killed brain cells, or because pot really did nothing lasting to my thought process. But I digress. Spring Break approaches quickly, and I'm anticipating it. I have been stressed beyond my limits, to the point where I now have strep throat and my periods are irregular. Not that you needed to know that last part. Meh.

I am up to 100 pounds, which fills me with mixed emotions. But mostly the self-conscious kind of emotions. Mostly. Baby steps, m'fucker. I'll kick this eating disorder's ass.

My favorite part of "Ice Ice Baby" is definitely when he says "JEALOUS!"

Fred Phelps is 75 years old.

Which means he will die soon.

This fills me with happiness.

DASHBOARD FUCKING CONFESSIONAL IS COMING TO BROCKPORT!!!

Beautiful girl, stay with me.

I do apologize.
Really.

This semester = kicking my ass.
I don't stand a chance.

Dude.

I might fail everything. Including life. My classes are wicked hard.
But.
At least I have new hats.



Yeah.
I am pretty freaking awesome poor.
On the upside, I'm anticipating Spring Break, which for me translates to "the week I get to go home, see mommy, sleep in, get a job, drive everyday, and see the Roch folk!"

I want to start running slash working out when the weather gets... not snowy. Britt said she'd be my trainer. Said she'd get my mile time down to seven. Unlikely. But I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. In the meantime, I'll just dress like I'm sporty and continue to do nothing physical whatsoever.

Unless you count walking all over campus everyday.

Bah.

You should all listen to the following songs, on account of their rocking-out potential...
Andrew WK - She is Beautiful
Modest Mouse - Paper Thin Walls
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Our Time
Straylight Run - The Tension and The Terror
INXS - Beautiful Girl
The Doves - There Goes The Fear
Saves The Day - Three Miles Down
Honorary Title - Revealing Too Much
Frou Frou - Let Go
TOTO - MOTHERFUCKING ROSANNA, BITCHES!

.............PS, I miss The Lot <3

A pressing issue...



I will have AIM by the balls.

A-licky-boom-boom-down.

So, I came back from Ithaca today and Britt tells me this:

"So, uh, I got up this morning and your pillow was on the couch, and your door was wide open. Around noon, some girl with dreadlocks knocks on the door wearing Sarah's pajama pants and says she slept on our couch last night because she was wasted, and do we have her cell phone?"

........asdfghjklAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I can't even begin to describe the hilarity. I called my mom and made Britt tell her. And I know of a pillowcase and a pair of pants that are being washed very soon.

Don't hate me because I'm listening to "Informer"
...Wait, yes, hate me.

Meet you all the way...
ROSANNA YEEEAAAHHHHHH.

Cue me having an 80s/90s dance party by myself. The girls are gone for the weekend, so I'm alone in 705c with purple Gatorade and hat hair. But, playlists make life better. And I'm going to Ithaca with Amanda tomorrow night. I hear it's gorges. Har har.

Jules and I had to drive out to Webster tonight to pick up our li'l lush from a softball party. We met the Brittster herself at the front door, where she put her arm around me and dropped 10 (TEN) beer can tops into my hand. Good one, bud. Crazy kids, I tell ya.

Speaking of crazy... I have a multitude of pictures:

Hey cute... I <3 the sporty girls!

Humpty hump.

I look preggers. Not sure why this is.

Drunk drawing #1: Sarah's shrine to me.

Drunk drawing #2: SATANIC FLOWERS! WHAT??

Drunk drawing #3: Note the pumpkin. Weird.

Drunk drawing #4: Babies. Just... babies.

Drunk drawing #5: I can't decide which is funnier - the grapes or the heart that says "chomp chomp"


We're special.

And frozen purple Gatorade (RIPTIDE RUSH, BITCHES) should always be in my possession.

trying to evolve at 1:04:00 AM ||

Backstreet's back.
Alright.

My hangover will kick your hangover's ass. Sarah makes the most concentrated, delicious alcoholic beverages of life. They're called Sarah's Awesome, made with Sprite, cranberry juice, and cranberry vodka. Damn girl got me blasted last night. My liver is blackened and sickly. All of my organs are on strike.

I might have pictures to post. I will check when I get back to 705. If I make it there. Holy effing blizzard. WTF snow? I hate you.

Somebody make me Velveeta mac and cheese, immediately. Brulia made chili-cheese dip with said cheese the other night, and I've been craving. I'm learning to cook this summer, so I can make real food for Sarah and the upstairs kids next year. I can be domestic. Not really.

My friends own you.

blindside me 85: where's my prostitute?
rockyraccoon57: uh, you're speaking to her

blindside me 85: i have dreams
Emoshocker: let me crush them

TheFinalesBegun: fight the machine
TheFinalesBegun: or to a lesser extent, rage against it

The tension and the terror.

Blog, forgive me, for I have sinned.

It has been far too long. So much is going on in the life of Jessica at the moment. I don't feel like going in depth about it all, but here are some highlights:

I haven't done homework in 2 weeks, and still don't feel like I'm going to fail out of school. I surely will.

Attended Danscore. I love dancers. So proud of my dancer friends. Holler.

Amanda and I are "on a break" and trying to work stuff out... not like it was before, though. Work it out differently... I'm far too much of an asshole to give her everything she deserves right now. But I don't want to lose her, so we're workin' on that. Yeah.

I'm coming out of the emo closet.

I paid my security deposit for the apartment. Can't describe my excitement of having my own (well, Sarah's too, but we have our own rooms, clearly) place for the first time ever. I'm finally living like a real person. Dorms suck. Apartments rule. Fuck off.

Text messaging owns me.

Been keeping my weight steady. Better than losing it, I guess. Best I can muster for now.

I need a haircut.

VALENTINE MAKING!











Yes. Fucking awesome. Two o'clock in the morning with Julie, Britt and Julia. Lots of glitter. Brown and black valentines held together with electrical tape. We are so fucking hardcore.

I woke up this morning and the arctic had taken refuge in Brockport. Something chased it up (down?) here, and I am extending a personal request for whatever it was to TAKE IT BACK. I was walking to class with the sporty kids, and snow was suicide-jumping off the tree branches onto my neck. It's angry snow. Angry. I fear the outside.

PS - My mom definitely told me yesterday that she's real glad I'm a big ol' dyke. What? Oh, what what? My mom > you.

trying to evolve at 12:20:00 PM ||

DEAR BLOG:

IOU MORE ENTRIES.

ASAP.
PROMISE.

LOVE, JESSICA

Oh my god.

Seriously.

What is my life?

X-posted to the LiveJournal.


1. sarah drinking a bitch drink.  2. power-hour jessica.


1. we have this problem with thinking we are cool.  2. see?


1. gun show. clearly.  2. it wouldn't be a drunk night (or any night) without someone trying to get into sarah's pants.


1. britt can't stop this gun show thing. she's sporty.   2. i have no caption for this.


1. dance party!   2. failed attempt at the worm.


1. yes, we were listening to michael jackson.  2. ...and acting out his life. i was the little boy.  (oooohhhhhh what, what? bitches)


1. this one's for megan.   2. slow-dancing to the backstreet boys. yes, we are.

Sarah just said "emo" in her sleep so I asked her "did you just say EMO?!" and she shook her head and rolled over.

Hi, best moment of my life.

Secret's in the sauce.

Sarah said she would kill me if I didn't blog.

I have decided to major in skipping classes. I see myself having quite a successful career in it. Ah sarcasm. The fruit of my existance. ...Ew.

I have nothing much to report, though I am going snowboarding this Saturday for the first time. In my head, I am really good at it. Clearly, I will suck out. It will be hilarious, so come and watch, or stay tuned for the report.

I feel an art project coming on. I haven't really gotten along with art lately, so I'm kind of stoked. Now if I only had the motivation to work on it. What? Motivation? Bah.

An emo moment.

"Better Things" by The Kinks/Dar Williams/other covers, etc... for my Britt and Jules. I love you both so much.

Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
and hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme
and the very best of choruses, too.
Follow all the doubt and sadness,
I know that better things are on the way.

Here's hoping all the days ahead
won't be as bitter as the ones behind you.
Be an optimist instead,
and somehow happiness will find you.
Forget what happened yesterday.
I know that better things are on their way.

It's really good to see you rocking out
and having fun.
Living like you just begun.
Accept your life and what it brings.
I hope tomorrow you'll find better things.
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.

Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
and hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme
and the very best of choruses, too.
Follow all the drudge and sadness,
I know that better things are on their way.

I know you got a lot of good things happening up ahead.
The past is gone,
it's all been said.
So here's to what the future brings,
I know tomorrow you'll find better things.

Y Y Y

WTF?



Wow people are stupid.

(partial thanks to Bacon)

We can only hope that I'll be frozen.

I love my girlfriend, spooning, Bud Light, my fwiends/BFF4E, not doing homework, cloves, random warm days in February, getting my ass kicked in pool, kicking said ass-kicker's asses in air hockey, chapstick, Subway, my apt for next year, being poor and not caring, dancing and knowing I can't, being a closetcase emo kid, other closetcase emo kids, doing laundry, being lazy, and rocking out.

Football sucks.